tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8330825396856032144.post4269446130479367296..comments2018-03-08T05:07:58.660-08:00Comments on East versus Midwest: Unrequited Chinese Hug AffairsLaura Barnharthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07361859070644033727noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8330825396856032144.post-8279765079558598232009-04-10T06:14:00.000-07:002009-04-10T06:14:00.000-07:00I hear Alex on the stereotyping; I wish we could c...I hear Alex on the stereotyping; I wish we could choose our stereotypes. I want to be cast in the one that everyone knows needs chocolates, cheese, and wine before even addressing me! Too bad we are kind of cast as rich and 开放 (a.k.a having dubious morals). <BR/><BR/>But in all fairness, in trying to wrap my head around an entire culture, I am definitely guilty of the same over simplifications. I don't think we can help it. I have to put people and phenomena in boxes, close them up for a while and move on long enough to reconsider it with better perspective later. I think it is the lack of the last step that frustrates me when talking to anyone in the world who is operating within a very small world view.Laura Barnharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07361859070644033727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8330825396856032144.post-29905165925295003162009-04-10T05:52:00.000-07:002009-04-10T05:52:00.000-07:00So true about the simplification, Laura!Definitely...So true about the simplification, Laura!Definitely safe, but puts you at risk of looking like a fool. But then again, that's not new for us laowai, it's a part of our big-nose, blue-eyed blood. And of course, no matter what cultural custom you ponder with a Chinese person, they reason it down to a stereotype.Alexhttp://www.beijingbriefs.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8330825396856032144.post-87212777456798614692009-04-03T17:23:00.000-07:002009-04-03T17:23:00.000-07:00Unfortunatly, I have experienced that very awkard ...Unfortunatly, I have experienced that very awkard "totem pole pose" that my new Chinese acquaintences have taken when I have "thrust myself upon them. While in China, I met the sister of a Chinese friend. When I learned who she was I greated her with my great Midwestern "Oh - It is just so wonderful to meet Sophia's sister hug". And, there it was - the totem pole response.<BR/><BR/>When our young Chinese friend visited Ohio, I took him to meet a young woman and a man, both his age, with whom he would spend an evening. As I drove him closer to the destination location, I prepared him for what they might do, and who the two people were in relation to our family. We talked about how he might accomplish paying for dinner for the trio and how he could order from the menu. Near the end of our drive, I asked if he had any questions about things that might occur or wondered about. His response?<BR/><BR/>"Should I hug them?"<BR/><BR/>To help him, I told him that since he had just met these two, they were relatively new friends, and so he really did not need to hug them. However, if his new friends opened their arms and moved forward, he could hug them. Just follow their lead.<BR/><BR/>So, I see that the "awkward hug" question is on both sides of the globe. Every one wants to do what is appropriate, and many of us manage to make the wrong judgement in this area at least once.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07239749817477566235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8330825396856032144.post-15475972955103748362009-03-31T08:07:00.000-07:002009-03-31T08:07:00.000-07:00Not all Midwesterners are huggers.I know some 80 a...Not all Midwesterners are huggers.<BR/>I know some 80 and 90 year olds who will eagerly hug babies but not their peers or adult children.<BR/>I also have great admiration for our Chinese friend who visits us in Ohio who wants to "embrace" all things American from foods to religious ceremonies, goes with us to our extended family gatherings and braces for the onslaught of hugs from all who attempt in their Midwestern way to make him feel welcome. His body does not conform well to the experience and I am sure he is glad when it is over so he can interact in more comfortible ways like talking and smiling.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8330825396856032144.post-82062715964303685032009-03-30T11:55:00.000-07:002009-03-30T11:55:00.000-07:00here is me, sending many big strong python- like h...here is me, sending many big strong python- like hugs to you!!!bethany reinernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8330825396856032144.post-16182235491205952002009-03-29T19:42:00.000-07:002009-03-29T19:42:00.000-07:00AHAHAHA. Yes, Laura, you are the non-hugger in our...AHAHAHA. Yes, Laura, you are the non-hugger in our 'friend hugs', which makes me feel awkward!:D<BR/><BR/>The French 'bises' can be awkward too, putting aside the awkwardness of kissing v not kissing, there is the kissing on one or two cheeks. When two people are uncertain, the 2nd kiss hung in midair... I believe I'm going to write on my palm greeting etiquette from now on: <BR/>Europeans: two kisses<BR/>Latin Americans: one kiss<BR/>Middle Easterners: two kisses on meeting, one kiss on leaving<BR/>Americans: hug<BR/>Chinese: nod <BR/>Japanese: bow<BR/><BR/>Then there are the Chinese Americans, German Japanese, British Indians...Charlenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11228820511943001017noreply@blogger.com